IDIOT # 1

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. Needless to say, they are no longer employed at Boeing.

IDIOT # 2

A medical student working in toxicology at the poison control center was trying to calm down a frantic mother that brought her young daughter in because the daughter had eaten a handful of live ants from the backyard. The medical student laughed as she said it was no big deal as the ants wouldn't cause any harm. The mother said well the reason I am here with my daughter is because I made my daughter eat ant poison to kill the ants inside her stomach!

IDIOT # 3

A man walked into a Bank of America in San Francisco with a note saying "this is a stickup give me all your muny," written on a Bank of America withdrawal slip. He began to worry as the tellers were taking too long so he bolted out of the bank and across the street to Wells Fargo. Walking in he presented the same note to the teller there. After reading the note the teller figured with the spelling of money that he wasn't very bright and said I am sorry sir but we cant give you money on a Bank of America withdrawal slip as it needs to be a Wells Fargo slip. Please fill out one of our withdrawal slips. The robber got antsy and ran out of Wells Fargo to try his luck back at Bank of America where officers had shown up minutes earlier and were standing in the bank as the robber ran right into them and arrested.

IDIOT # 4

A guy walked into a convenience store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer which the employee promptly gave to him. He then spotted a bottle of scotch on the shelf behind the register and demanded it as well. The cashier refused saying he wasn't old enough to have alcohol and he would get fired if he gave him the bottle. The guy was FURIOUS, took out his wallet, slapped down his license on the counter and said how old does that say I am? The cashier agreed that 28 years old was old enough to have the bottle and released it to the guy who ran out the door and escaped. He was captured at his parents home a few hours later by police as the camera was focused on the counter/register area and got a close up on the guys license!

IDIOT # 5

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received a ticket in the mail for $40.00 in fines. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.00. Several days later, he received a letter from the police department that contained a photograph of handcuffs and a jail cell. He immediately mailed the $40.00 fine.